Agents

I remember Don Johnson trumpet teacher at Humber College in Toronto listening to one of the school's "Stage Bands" and remarking to Rainer Schmidt another teacher, "I guess most of these young guys don't realize that they're now playing in the best band they will ever play with in their lives." "They most likely will never experience anything of this quality again when they graduate."  

That prophetic statement is sad but unfortunately  true. So often you study many years to become professionally proficient on your instrument and then have to go out into the "real" world and have to endure all manner of mediocrity to make a living. 

It's best that you understand, that in the real world this might be the norm.  You might have to play twenty or more unsatisfying jobs before you play one that is musically enjoyable.

Fortunately in my case, in the earlier days, these "bad" experiences were few and far between.  However, I do recall a few less than gratifying moments. For example, working a casual gig with a small ethnic group where the somewhat adequate keyboard player / leader (and that's being kind) had his wife on bass.  Well, she didn't actually play the bass and all you got was thump, thump, thump.  On rare occasions she accidentally hit a right note. This guy did a lot of work in those days which proves sadly that audiences didn't know the difference.

I recall another jobbing band where the drummer was the singer.  Well sort of.  I hadn't worked with this group before. When it came time for this drummer / vocalist to sing, you got, "Feelinks, nuttin morrrre then feelinks with a heavy, thick Bulgarian accent. At first, I thought the guy was pulling my leg and doing a Pete Barbutti routine. Nope, that's the way he sang. It didn't matter.

Then a few days later you might be doing a Jazz concert or recording with wonderful musicians. These jobs were a pleasant opportunity to perhaps regain your sanity.   Of course you could always elect to pick and choose but as the number of live gigs dwindled, for some musicians, it became increasing difficult to be discriminate. Some musicians do make mortgage payments and besides, everyone has to eat.

When I first moved to Toronto there was a great variety of work.  In those days you could be on a "substitute list" and work three or four times a week or more for the first- call guys. Some years later, I expanded my options and decided to become an agent.  I realized that if you could provide more than one style of band (music) and offered a wide assortment of entertainment you could get a bigger piece of the action.

Even though I was an agent, other agents still called me for e.g. convention work. They knew that I had a stable of entertaining groups that fit a wide variety of special needs. I was hoping their calling me was considered a "one-stop shopping" situation. 

I remember one agent that was notorious for "spiking" jobs. He might offer the client something absurd, like a three piece group e.g. Violin, banjo and tuba and tell them that the trio could play everything including Glenn Miller.

Or he would sell a client a small Dixieland group of perhaps four musicians and have them come into the main area from different directions. One musician coming down an escalator (playing), another coming from another direction (also playing) and the other two, who knows where they would come from. This idea was stupid and absurd but the agent got the gig by convincing the client that his idea had theatrical merit (my wording) and was "showy."

It was also a common ploy for agents, when negotiating a price, to tell you that the gig was a small situation, perhaps a company party and that the gig wouldn't last very long. (Meaning he wanted a rock bottom price.)  It would turn out to be in front of 20,000 people in the Convention centre and you had to stroll two hours without a break (with a trio). You did eventually did get paid for the two hour call but that evening you ended up having to shell out twenty bucks for parking.

However I have to admit that the trio that I mentioned, violin, banjo and tuba that were supposed to be able to play anything including Glenn Miller did sound pretty good on "Turkey in the Straw."

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