Convention Gigs

Some years ago two musicians and myself on accordion (yes, the Italian typewriter) were doing a convention gig in Toronto. The trio actually consisted of clarinet, guitar and myself on the "squeeze box".   We were dressed in Mexican outfits and were required to play appropriate Spanish / Latin music for the visiting conventioneers. It was a special event and our attire and music had something to do with the theme of the convention. There were two locations involved that day, the Royal York Hotel and the Metro Convention Centre.

I don't remember all the details of this job but we were to play a short bit at the Hotel and would board a convention bus that took us up the street to the Centre where we would play another set.

The Metro Convention Centre understandably has a lot of security guards at every turn. You have to have proper identification that allows you access to various rooms and to the other levels of the facility.

Well, it so happens that my musician buddies and I were film buffs.  I always looked forward to working with them as we had a lot of things in common and there were always lots to talk about besides old black and white movies.  In the spare time on these gigs we got to talking about these movies or would reminisce about the old days and the happenings that had occurred way back when.

That particular day we were talking about one of our favourite movies, The Treasure of Sierra Madre with Humphrey Bogart.   There is one scene in that movie where bandits surround Bogart and two other actors, Walter Huston and Tim Holt up in the hills.   These "banditos" were bad "hombres" and had robbery and murder on their minds.

Well, the three of us were discussing that movie and one particular scene. In that scene, one of the ringleader bandits (played by Alphonso Bedoya) calls out to Bogart in this skirmish,   "Badges!  Badges!  We don't need no stinkin's badges," and then all hell breaks loose with gunfire.  That line to this day is associated with Alphonso and it is even mentioned in his bio on the Internet. His acting legacy was assured by that one line.

In any case we loved that line. We thought the actor was absolutely perfect with his "greasy" facial expressions and bad-guy evil mannerisms.   We got a great chuckle recalling the line by Alphonso and how he played that character in the movie.

Well, the three of us did play our first set at the Royal York and then boarded the bus to do another set at the Centre. We got to the Convention facilities and were informed that the function was on the next level (something we didn't know).  Two security guards at the bottom of the escalator were barring our access to that second level (a guy and a girl).   

The girl said, "You can't go upstairs unless you have proper identification.  Where are your badges?"   Guess what?   The three of us in unison, quite forcefully, "Badges!  Badges!  We don't need no stinkin' badges." The girl was somewhat taken back but the other security guard started to break up.   He knew the movie and the line.  

What are the chances of ever getting such a great verbal cue again?

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