Music School

Some of my friends who are trumpet teachers at a Music College in Toronto, passed on some interesting responses from some of the new students. These students were auditioned at the beginning of the year.

Teacher, "Why did you take up the trumpet?
Student, "It only has three valves."

T: Do your chops ever hurt?"
S: Only when I play.

T: Can you play high?
S: I don't do drugs.

T: What's your favourite song?
S: Key of F

T: Who is your favourite trumpet player?
S: My uncle Benny.

T: Why do you always ad lib to Blues in F.
S: It seems to work most of the time.

T: Why do you play on the side of your embouchure?
S: My girl friend doesn't like the mouthpiece mark on the centre of my lips.

T: Why do you want the audition postponed?
S: I can't find my mouthpiece.

Here are some terms and their meanings that the teachers came up with.

a) He's a nice little player.  Meaning he hasn't any chops and can only play in the middle register.

b) He's seems to have a lot of power. Meaning he can only play LOUD in the middle register.

c) He likes to play ballads.  Meaning up-tempos are a challenge and anything with a lot of black notes is difficult for him.

d) He has a "crappy" tone.  Meaning he should specialize as a Jazz player.

e ) He "cracks" a lot.  Meaning he should find tunes with a lot of grace notes.

f) He seems to have a nice mellow tone. Meaning he has a five minute lip.

g) He shows promise. He has the money to attend school. (His father is a doctor.)

Maybe some of these players will end up as teachers. Hmm? Maybe they should teach gym.

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