Travelling Virtuoso

The Broadway play “Gypsy” was based on Gypsy Rose Lee and her relationship with her overly ambitious mother.  Apparently her mother was the driving force behind Gypsy Rose Lee's career. She was what we call a typical "stage mother."

So frequently the mother is living out her fantasies and dreams through her offspring's talents. The picture eventually gets blurred as the mother's ambitions become obsessive.

This next occurrence brings into play this sort of relationship. In this case the wife was more interested in "show casing" her husbands abilities than he was.   In fact as the situation turned out, I don't think he was that interested in performing for anyone.

Just such a woman approached our lounge band on the Norwegian Cruise Line one evening. She was elderly and it could be assumed that her husband was also a senior.  She was requesting that we allow him to sit in with the band. We assumed he must be a musician or singer. These are the usual requests. Well, (horrors) it turned out he played spoons.

What next? It could have been worse. He could have played a washboard. Now, you have to understand that my group was very versatile and I had some wonderful Jazz players who could actually play anything. However, backing up a "spoonist"? Our setting was a Jazz lounge and was a pretty "hip," classy setting. This wasn't a "presentation" that was appropriate for that room.

I felt I had to make an effort to discourage the lady from this rather unusual idea. The cruising tourists pay big bucks to go on these cruises (make that huge bucks) and being subjected to some amateur on spoons shouldn't be part of the package deal. Perhaps a few months ago, some of these same passengers may have seen shows at some of the casinos in Las Vegas. I'm sure there weren't any "spoon virtuosos" in these programs. 

I said," Madam", (trying to sound sincere and keep from laughing) "We have a talent show this Thursday." I continued, "Don't you think that would be a better opportunity to "showcase" your husband's talents by allowing the entire ship to hear his special skills?" I was thinking I could convince her into seeing the obvious. I barely got out the last word when she objected forcefully, "No!"  Wow. This woman was a real "negotiator." She wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, at least not from me. I'm thinking if she is this adamant there could be trouble somewhere down the line.

Well, she went to other members of the band (in her mind) up the chain of command so to speak. People like this woman could really make trouble for you, if you let them. The higher-ups at head office might not understand the complete situation. To them it might be just a legitimate complaint by a paying customer. 

A Cruise Line president (In Los Angeles) would only think of the negative publicity and future sales if such a situation turned nasty and made head-lines. She might even appear on the morning news or "Larry King Live." Crazier things could happen.

Well, she by-passed us and went to see the Cruise Director. (He's the one in charge of all music and entertainment on the ship.)  I met the director a couple of days later in the elevator and he just stared at the door and kept muttering, "I whimped out. I whimped out." It was like he was in a state of disbelief.

I said, "What do you mean you whimped out? What's the matter?"   He said, "I allowed that husband that plays spoons to sit in with your band.  I'm sorry. It's completely against my policy but I felt it might be a prudent (safe) thing to do. I really couldn't argue with his  reasoning as somehow I agreed with his reluctant "surrender".

Well, we never heard from the lady or the virtuoso on spoons the rest of the trip. For what ever reason neither one of them showed up. That was the last of that problem we hoped.  Maybe all she wanted was to win the argument and make a point. Once she got a "yes" she disappeared.

My piano player, when he heard this good news remarked (trying to put a positive spin on the situation). "You know.  Maybe we should have heard him play. I understand he gets a "special" sound on the spoons."  He was obviously trying to be funny. "Yeah, He uses imported spoons from Germany and they have a unique resonance. He might have sounded great on Gravy Waltz."  

What next?  A yodeller?

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