The Last Post

Some years ago, the Canadian Armed Forces music contingent organized two wind ensembles (East and West companies) to travel across Canada to do concerts ... a musical show.

The programme served as a vehicle to boost recruitment and also served as a showcase to the public to what the military was doing in this area of traditional Military Band music.

This must have been the days when the Federal Government had money to spare and this seemed like a good idea as a public relations venture. Both of these companies (bands) had the same show and musical program. One band performed the eastern provinces and the other the western provinces.

One of the features in the program was a tribute and remembrance to the fallen soldiers of Canada's involvement in past wars. It was an impressively crafted showpiece.  The program consisted of a huge cross in the centre of the foreground with a soldier standing at attention...rifle to the ground with head bowed. This presentation came into view through the billowing smoky atmosphere as the lights that were dimmed illuminated this solemn scene.

In a box stance were four trumpet players facing each other. They were to play the Canadian reveille in unison. They were facing each other and on a given cue began this appropriate number.

Unbeknownst to the trumpet players the foreground of the arena had been used the night before by a show that featured horses and equestrians. Well the grounds crew did clean up the horse mess before this performance but not completely.   Apparently a pile of horse "doo" had been inadvertently left near this makeshift cenotaph.

Well, it was too late to do anything about this oversight and as the trumpet players got into the Canadian version of "Taps" they started to snicker and gag from the over powering offensive smell of horse dung.  As you may well know, when one person starts to giggle it becomes infectious and soon all four of them were gasping and trying to play this piece without breaking up.

Well, snickering and trumpet playing don't go together.   The mouthpieces were bouncing all over their "chops" and it became a challenge as to which one of the four would hold it together.  The odor was annoying to the players but at the same time the situation became humorous.

After the performance and when the concert was over, the conductor approached them to ask what had happened to this butchered version of The Last Post.  

"Sir." They said, trying to contain themselves and render a plausible excuse. "It was really like Vimy Ridge.   Pure and simple it was a "gas" attack. It was the best we could do under the circumstances." 

Well, there wasn't much the conductor could say and accepted the explanation as something that was unforeseeable and to say the least "challenging."

I guess this "gas" attack added to the realism of the moment.  To the trumpet players it was like stepping back in time. 

Too bad you can't play the trumpet and hold your nose at the same time.

Web space donated by Encore...The Concert Band www.encoretheconcertband.ca